Just Tired

I talked to a friend today.
he asked me why my voice sounds worn out?
“Just tired”, I replied.
Better not share the stuff he knows nothing about.

“Get some rest & take care of your health”.
I did feel the concern that he had tried to express.
I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t lack of sleep,
but a very severe deficiency of hope and happiness.

I wanted to save my heart…
From this relentless and unending torment.
I wanted to escape my grim reality,
Even if it’s just for a few moments.

So I talked to a friend today.
he asked me why I haven’t been in touch lately.
“Been busy”, I replied.
Don’t have the strength to tell him what I go through daily.

Our calls were getting shorter as months passed by,
The familiar warmth of his voice was gone.
He still comforted me with his kind words…
But I could sense the newfound apathy in his tone.

Must be hard to keep up with someone who have nothing to offer,
I understand why he would choose to hide.
This is not the first time I found myself alone,
I guess I will again find new ways to survive.

So, I talked to a friend today.
Trying to picture myself in the fun adventure that she described.
I smiled and nodded in all the right places…
Scared that sad people don’t give off very inviting vibes.

She took a deep breath after her story was done,
Asking me why I am so silent these days.
“Nothing, just tired”, I replied mechanically.
Only if someone could construe how much these two words weigh.