Tag: life

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Free Verse

O’ Life

In case you missed to understand what I tried to convey once again,
Let me speak my heart out loud for you then…


Reaching out every so often, calling first, remembering every single detail to let you know I care.
Was it too much to ask for a single reciprocation, O’ life why have you been so incredibly unfair?


If I could be like just everyone else with respect to treating others…trust me, I would.
Sadly, people matter, and they hold more power over me than I think they should.


Now I feel defeated, like it was just not worth it in the end,
I still have a corner in my brain filled with all the texts that I persuaded myself not to send.


Well, there is always someone around, you know, family, friends and more…
But somethings are missing, the unconditional love, the equation, the efforts as before.


Maybe my expectations were naive and attempts to save the thread superfluous.
Sometimes we willingly give the wrong people, the very best version of us!


And when I finally tried I realized, it is easier to force myself to walk away,
than relentlessly convincing someone else to stay.


After all that was said and done, after so many bridges were burnt,
At the very least there is the peace in me that I left no stone unturned.


Something precious came out of the gloomy seasons that are gone…
the strength of my vintage heart…
and the grace I gained in learning to live a fairytale while walking alone.

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Pretty Basic…

They say my choices are Basic…
Sitting in their fancy apartments watching memes.
And here I am with a mind overflowing with song lyrics,
and a wooden cottage still in my dreams.

My weekends are filled with feel-good classics…
You know the ones that leave our insides all warm?
Are you telling me that skinny jeans are outdated,
Now that I finally got into the form?

My afternoons are reserved for Sandwiches and Cold coffee…
But I also love Adrak wali chai in the rain.
I have too little space for real life drama in my heart,
But way too many fictional characters living in my brain!

As much as I cherish the colorful flowers,
I would fill up my closet with all white if I could
Tried finding myself in autobiographies of many strong women…
But can’t deny how the little mermaid still makes me feel incredibly understood.

While searching for obvious files and folders,
You will find more diaries and scrapbooks scattered in my room.
I try not to be available all the time now,
Well, sometimes I too get tired of the all-time smiley costume.

I sing when I’m alone and can write all day long…But
They say if I’m not getting anything out of it, it’s not very cool.
What to do?
We are living jn the era where making efforts to keep in touch
Has suddenly become quite old school.

So, they can say that this stuff that I like is Basic…
And I am not really doing that much.
But I call it the spell that helps me sail through.
I keep it at my fingertips…
Coz I know every now & then , they also need a little magic touch!

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Free Verse

Forever

This is not the forever I dreamt of,
I feel helpless to the turned tides…
Seeking comfort at every home,
Only to feel heavy inside.


Most beautiful memories can also be tarnished, because of a single fight.
Don’t say anything, just let it be another silent night.


It gets hard to carry when it is shattered into a million pieces,
So maybe just wrap it all together and leave…
You have bills to pay and a life to survive,
Might not get enough time to cry or properly grieve.


It takes a lot of energy to hold onto what is not meant to be,
Look at you comforting others with the words you wish to hear…
I’m sorry things turned out to be this way,
But broken relationships are better than the forced ones that you always fear.


I know you weren’t ready; but there was no place to hide.
I know you wanted to scream, but all you could manage was a heavy sigh.
I have written all about it, in a letter I never posted.
My diary knows the things that they should, no one was there to confide.


When your love wasn’t enough, do you think your words will even matter?
I know it feels terrible now, but they say with time it will get better.


This is not the forever I dreamt of
This is not what I implied
A life of endless misery.
A life of unexpected goodbyes.

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Free Verse

There you are

There you are…
Having the time of your life.
Looks like you are the life of this party,
Enjoying the company of your tribe.


My mind suddenly started playing the flashback,
Showing me glimpse of the memories we shared.
Every moment came alive in front of my eyes,
I haven’t forgotten anything, that’s how much I have always cared.


Do you remember the town where we grew up?
There was a bench in the front porch of your house.
We used to play there as little children,
Never minding the ever-staring crowd.


Everyone wanted to be your friend back then,
They liked your shiny toys I suppose…
I wasn’t the smartest or the coolest kid,
But still I was the one the little you chose.


Do you remember the picnic where you first made my cry?
I never knew how to dance but still wanted to try.
So, I gathered some courage and stood up from my chair.
Started to move my body but without any flair.
Everyone was laughing while my eyes were searching for you,
Years have passed yet I vividly remember that view…
There you were…
Playing with your new friends who were both cool and smart,
You were pointing at me and mocking,
with every cackle we were moving miles apart.
Something broke that day…
Maybe an unsaid promise or a fragile heart.


Today I am again dancing,
And having the time of my life.
Thinking how I was lucky enough,
To find my own tribe.


And there you are…
With a bunch of new faces around.
I hope your shiny toys are not the only things
That these cool kids have found.


I found myself glancing at your way, but your eyes never met mine.
We all somehow move on leaving all the bittersweet memories behind.
I sure might have been forgotten in your story,
But you always stayed somewhere in the back of my mind.

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Free Verse

Just Tired

I talked to a friend today.
he asked me why my voice sounds worn out?
“Just tired”, I replied.
Better not share the stuff he knows nothing about.


“Get some rest & take care of your health”.
I did feel the concern that he had tried to express.
I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t lack of sleep,
but a very severe deficiency of hope and happiness.


I wanted to save my heart…
From this relentless and unending torment.
I wanted to escape my grim reality,
Even if it’s just for a few moments.


So I talked to a friend today.
he asked me why I haven’t been in touch lately.
“Been busy”, I replied.
Don’t have the strength to tell him what I go through daily.


Our calls were getting shorter as months passed by,
The familiar warmth of his voice was gone.
He still comforted me with his kind words…
But I could sense the newfound apathy in his tone.


Must be hard to keep up with someone who have nothing to offer,
I understand why he would choose to hide.
This is not the first time I found myself alone,
I guess I will again find new ways to survive.


So, I talked to a friend today.
Trying to picture myself in the fun adventure that she described.
I smiled and nodded in all the right places…
Scared that sad people don’t give off very inviting vibes.


She took a deep breath after her story was done,
Asking me why I am so silent these days.
“Nothing, just tired”, I replied mechanically.
Only if someone could construe how much these two words weigh.

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Free Verse

Montage

Every time I cook noodles…I make them the way a friend taught me in 11th grade.

That song that I listen to every summer, reminds me of the good old college days.

I eat those spicey wafers…Because of a girl who made me try them once.

I still prefer pencils over pen, Because of a friend I haven’t talked to in several months.

I like telling stories…Someone I used to know told me I’m good with that.

Due to a happy-go-lucky friend now I don’t overthink, Before calling the people with whom I love to chat.

I am obsessed with that book…Because of a boy who told me about it before I knew what I liked.

I figured I enjoyed dancing too, When I saw him shaking a leg all carefree and psyched.

I am still a fan of kdramas…Because of the one who have now stopped watching them.

I try to be more generous when I witnessed, How someone treated me more like family than a friend.

There are movies I love…Because of someone who loved them first.

Someone kind and accepting showed me, There are still people in the world whom I can trust.

Last I saw my dearest friend a decade ago…Now she is hard to find.

I am a little bit more honest every day,Whenever she crosses my mind.

We meet all the people in our life by fate…But the choice of what we carry with us is ours.

I am a montage of everyone I’ve ever liked,Whether they are right next to me or worlds apart.

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Free Verse

I don’t ask

I am not the main character,
I get along with everyone fine.
Let me just exist quietly,
I have no intention to shine.


I don’t ask for order…just a little less chaos.
Just try to not always oppose whatever I chose.


See if you can speak…a little less loud.
My heart is racing, please don’t mingle with that crowd.


With wounding words coming from your heart,
Another shred of humanity is tearing apart.


I don’t ask for happiness…just a little less pain.
Just make sure my empty eyes were not in vain.


To survive one more day…I tell myself all the time.
An imaginary delight is better than a realistic whine.


Just close your eyes and take a deep breath,
Focus here for now…we will deal with the aftermath.


I will keep checking on you,
I have hidden a ray of hope safe inside.
Maybe you will help me find it someday,
If you can allow yourself to see past your pride.


Till the time I figure out where do I belong,
I’ll get back to telling stories and songs.


I don’t ask for love…just a little less hate.
Just try not to stain my innocuous portrait.

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Free Verse

Mind of Misogyny

Never strive to live a life, you are born to serve.
Learn only the things that we think you deserve.
Speak to please people, not for the truth.
You are the youngest, behave like one should.
You are being so difficult, you are being so mean.
this isn’t how a girl should behave when she turns sixteen.
Enough of the girl who is disobedient, thankless and freak.
We will make sure you remain powerless and weak.
Take the responsibility, that we will push down on you.
Smile bright while you do that, else what will other people say about you.
Your existence becomes hell, when you don’t comply.
You are not needed anymore, good girls are not supposed to pry.
Your voice should be meek, don’t try to be tough.
You don’t understand anything better than us.
Show compassion to others at all costs.
It’s selfish of you to care for your own sanity the most.
Now you are just being unreasonable, and insensitive too.
Everyone else does it, why is it so traumatic for you.
We don’t have any logic, but this is how it is supposed to work.
You are just complaining because you are determined to get all the perks.
There is a system for everything, and this one suits us well.
We get to dominate and then joke around how wives make our lives hell.
God created us different for a reason, you should never have got the nerve.
Admit that you are not born to raise your voice, you are born to just serve.

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Thought for life

Thought for life #2

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Free Verse

The last straw

I was always asked if I need anything,
but the expected answer was only No…
Every question was an accusation,
And I never had any evidence to show.
Control in the name of care, dominance is what they are trying to conceal…
They will always be responsible for how they act, no matter how considerate they feel.

Never… ever… mistake a quiet soul for an empty one,
The people I needed the most taught me I need no-one.
When I picked peace over drama & distance over disrespect,
They got mad at me for trying to keep my sanity intact.
A year can do a lot to a person,
You will know when your perseverance become feeble.
That doesn’t necessarily mean you need therapy dear,
You are just surrounded by the wrong people.
You cannot give people what they are incapable of receiving,
Sometimes the only option that remains for you is silently leaving.


Today I’m thinking about the lies we tell ourselves to get through the day,
When we are stuck-for-life, at someplace we would never wanna stay.
I agree will power is real, but it needs the right conditions to thrive.
Sometimes you will have to let go of the same person many different times.
You keep forgiving them until you learn to unlove,
Often even a decade will fall short, but sometimes just a moment is enough.
Don’t ruin a beautiful day because of someone else,
Every time they are cruel to you, do something kind for yourself.
I heard somewhere that you know you have healed,
When you can tell your story and it doesn’t make you cry…
Being scared for so long has made me cold-blooded,
I have now finally accepted my fate without asking why.
Yes, it is possible to miss something but never want it back,
Changed behavior is the only apology – it’s high time to understand that.

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