Tag: Sad

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Free Verse

Forever

This is not the forever I dreamt of,
I feel helpless to the turned tides…
Seeking comfort at every home,
Only to feel heavy inside.


Most beautiful memories can also be tarnished, because of a single fight.
Don’t say anything, just let it be another silent night.


It gets hard to carry when it is shattered into a million pieces,
So maybe just wrap it all together and leave…
You have bills to pay and a life to survive,
Might not get enough time to cry or properly grieve.


It takes a lot of energy to hold onto what is not meant to be,
Look at you comforting others with the words you wish to hear…
I’m sorry things turned out to be this way,
But broken relationships are better than the forced ones that you always fear.


I know you weren’t ready; but there was no place to hide.
I know you wanted to scream, but all you could manage was a heavy sigh.
I have written all about it, in a letter I never posted.
My diary knows the things that they should, no one was there to confide.


When your love wasn’t enough, do you think your words will even matter?
I know it feels terrible now, but they say with time it will get better.


This is not the forever I dreamt of
This is not what I implied
A life of endless misery.
A life of unexpected goodbyes.

Categories
Free Verse

Just Tired

I talked to a friend today.
he asked me why my voice sounds worn out?
“Just tired”, I replied.
Better not share the stuff he knows nothing about.


“Get some rest & take care of your health”.
I did feel the concern that he had tried to express.
I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t lack of sleep,
but a very severe deficiency of hope and happiness.


I wanted to save my heart…
From this relentless and unending torment.
I wanted to escape my grim reality,
Even if it’s just for a few moments.


So I talked to a friend today.
he asked me why I haven’t been in touch lately.
“Been busy”, I replied.
Don’t have the strength to tell him what I go through daily.


Our calls were getting shorter as months passed by,
The familiar warmth of his voice was gone.
He still comforted me with his kind words…
But I could sense the newfound apathy in his tone.


Must be hard to keep up with someone who have nothing to offer,
I understand why he would choose to hide.
This is not the first time I found myself alone,
I guess I will again find new ways to survive.


So, I talked to a friend today.
Trying to picture myself in the fun adventure that she described.
I smiled and nodded in all the right places…
Scared that sad people don’t give off very inviting vibes.


She took a deep breath after her story was done,
Asking me why I am so silent these days.
“Nothing, just tired”, I replied mechanically.
Only if someone could construe how much these two words weigh.

Categories
Free Verse

Women’s day

You were yelled at all the time
There will always be a reason for their rage.
Have a good look around and analyze
They are always there to show you “your place”.


They have witnessed your suffering
Your agonizing screams, your burnt face.
And then accused your clothes
your confidence, and your “modern” ways.


From taking birth to giving one – everything is controlled.
Your mere existence on this earth, sucks even more…
When for a larger part of your life,
you were made to believe you were untouchable and impure.


Even if you did something wrong
Know that you were never worth the hate.
They shouldn’t have caged you to pay the price
Your freedom is not for them to calculate.


“How dare you share the things I did to you”
“How dare you disclose the things I said”
Just like this they prove they are guilty
Don’t be afraid to raise your voice fearing they will get mad.


Recognize when them leading the way becomes
a sign of dominance in the name of care.
Learn to see what’s in front of you
Excuses for them will only push you towards despair.


Wishing you today they will be there in the crowd
They will roam fearless; they don’t need a mask.
Please do yourself a favor and don’t give them another chance
To be treated like a human, is sometimes too much to ask.


I am often told “Things that doesn’t happen to you
shouldn’t be your concern”.
I guess that’s the reason why victims remain traumatized
while culprit never suffers.


It’s painful to see your wounds
I guess physically you were not that strong.
But the child in you is still kind
I guess that’s the one thing where you can never go wrong.


Keep moving and have faith in yourself
It’s the most beautiful thing you can find.
A space that no one can invade
Your hopeful heart and your peace of mind.

Categories
Free Verse

The last straw

I was always asked if I need anything,
but the expected answer was only No…
Every question was an accusation,
And I never had any evidence to show.
Control in the name of care, dominance is what they are trying to conceal…
They will always be responsible for how they act, no matter how considerate they feel.

Never… ever… mistake a quiet soul for an empty one,
The people I needed the most taught me I need no-one.
When I picked peace over drama & distance over disrespect,
They got mad at me for trying to keep my sanity intact.
A year can do a lot to a person,
You will know when your perseverance become feeble.
That doesn’t necessarily mean you need therapy dear,
You are just surrounded by the wrong people.
You cannot give people what they are incapable of receiving,
Sometimes the only option that remains for you is silently leaving.


Today I’m thinking about the lies we tell ourselves to get through the day,
When we are stuck-for-life, at someplace we would never wanna stay.
I agree will power is real, but it needs the right conditions to thrive.
Sometimes you will have to let go of the same person many different times.
You keep forgiving them until you learn to unlove,
Often even a decade will fall short, but sometimes just a moment is enough.
Don’t ruin a beautiful day because of someone else,
Every time they are cruel to you, do something kind for yourself.
I heard somewhere that you know you have healed,
When you can tell your story and it doesn’t make you cry…
Being scared for so long has made me cold-blooded,
I have now finally accepted my fate without asking why.
Yes, it is possible to miss something but never want it back,
Changed behavior is the only apology – it’s high time to understand that.

Categories
Free Verse

She

When you see in her eyes, you won’t see the stars,
You’ll see remnants of beautiful smiles, lost in the war.
You’ll see speckles of dust and lots of rain,
You cannot count the times she has survived that moment of pain.
You’ll see what it’s like to sail through the storm,
And still be as calm as a river, living a life miserable & forlorn.
You’ll see tarnished moon inside, struggling to keep afloat,
I was able to survive because of the words that she once wrote.


She is the epitome of beauty, strength and courage,
It’s a pity she was chosen to be the victim of this outrage.
She taught me to think, she taught me to try,
She helped me to free the me trapped inside.
Everything I am, everything I have, she is the one I owe it to,
And when the times got hard, she was there to affirm that we would get through.

You don’t understand the love she has for everyone – it is so rare,
If she decide to take a stand, she can be your worst nightmare.

Categories
Free Verse

I will heal

My home will be a home with no loud anger, no explosive rage.
No slamming doors or breaking glass, no keeping anyone in a cage.
No name calling, shaming or blackmail,
No fear, no hurt or blame, my ego will never be that frail.
My home will be gentle, it will be warm…
It will keep my loved ones safe, never be the reason behind any harm.
I may come from a broken and twisted place,
but I will build something whole and safe.
I’ll sing in the shower again, cook with a smile and dance in all the rooms…
There will be laughter on the dinner table, we will take a walk under the moon.
I want to know in real how does all this feel,
Someday I will breathe, someday I will heal.

Categories
Articles

Parent Trap

Too many parents have felt the need to be unnecessarily hard on their children in order to prepare them for a harsh world. Our homes became our battlefields and the “harsh world” almost starts to feel like an escape in comparison. These parents are ready to do anything for their kids except let them be themselves. It is hard for these children to go through even the very basic daily life routines. When they grow up hearing others kids their age talk about how supportive their families are while they are basically struggling through life. Many emotionally abused children grow up to be adults who are afraid to take risks of striking out on their own. Many will remain dependent on their controlling parents; some leave their abusive parents only to get attached to a similar controlling partner; and others leave their parents and develop a lifelong fear from such attachment leading to a choice to live on their own. Such parents don’t even notice how they are destroying their children’s self-esteem gradually.

It is said that repeating the same pattern for at least 21 days is enough to form a habit. Parents have been imposing their beliefs about life on you since you were born, that’s more than enough to establish a habit. In the guise of caring, this is how they satisfy their need to control you. A parent’s goal should be to prepare their child for the future, not to make them like themselves. In their perspective, they are raising individuals to show respect. The respect which resonates more with fear in the eyes of their child. The yearning for freedom is so strong that the child starts lying, and before he can understand it becomes a part of his character.

Once you start to pull away and heal, you will become a threat to their entire existence. The parents will accuse you of being manipulated by someone else – may be your education, or may be the career that made you independent & gave you the courage to stand up against them. Healing from this toxicity will not start by saying “NO” to them, it will start by saying “YES” to yourself. Remember, this is not a revenge! The urge to do something rebellious to annoy them will always be very strong. But don’t give in to it – you won’t get any peace out of it. Find things that you genuinely want to do and start working for them. Go with your instincts and set your own values – the values which you wish to follow without giving any second thought. It might not be possible to physically isolate yourself from them. So learn to control your anger and talk calmly. State your opinions ONLY when it is absolutely necessary to speak and state them only once – firm and clear once. Also remember that the people you can’t bear to take negative comments from, should not be considered for any positive feedbacks as well. This might just be another bait to get you on their side.

The sign of great parenting is not the child’s behavior. The sign of truly great parenting is the parent’s behavior.

Andy Smithson
Categories
When the mind wanders

When the mind wanders…#1

…My Artwork with words inspired from “You All Over Me” by Taylor Swift. 💙

Categories
Free Verse

Time and Place

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Bryan White

Ariel had long locks, Noddy’s house was on the wheels…
Little did the small girl’s wish list knew,
How bad does a broken heart feel!

The empty arenas have nothing to do with my tune,
The magical kingdom is too far away from my small room.


There is a time & place for everything you dream,
That’s why it doesn’t make much sense now…
Felt so precious when I was fourteen!


Somewhere one day, I found someone just like me…
Having the time of her life, living the dreams that I am allowed to only see.


Still I feel the same euphoria building inside,
I am proud of her, and happy too…
At least someone got what they needed by their side.


There is a time & place for everything you want,
May be to speak your heart out but sometimes you just can’t!


When my voice is blended with the echo of my favorite song,
That feeling makes me forget everything that is going wrong.


I am aware of all the side glances,
I can hear them calling me crazy & dumb…
But I eventually found out this is much better,
Than having my little heart to always feel numb!


It’s true that there is a time & place for everything that you love,
But some dreams never die…
They will grow up with you and just like stars, they will shine above!

Categories
Free Verse

A Good Story…

Searching for a good story, I waited too long to write…
I was naïve. In that unlit corridor, hope was never insight.
All the dirt and filth that I got inside,
Is a gift from the one who couldn’t lose his pride.

Every single moment I wished for a miracle,
Prayed for the tables to finally turn.
Slowly my dreams started to fade away instead,
With an aching heart & feeling of a deep burn.

They say every cloud has a silver lining,
Even without a moon, the night sky is always shining.
They forget that the sky can’t do it on its own…
Still need the stars to get the lights from.


The Sun is there somewhere in the sky, if you find the silver you are looking for…
But sometimes the night is just stormy and black,
There’s no Sun, no Moon, no Stars out the door!


Searching for a good story, I waited too long to write,
Forgot that something so dark, can never be called bright.
All the tears & hate that I got inside…
Is not leaving me now I know, I have already tried!

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